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Odin Allfather: God of Parenting
  • Odin: Now, young children of mine, here's all the reasons why frost giants are evil, nasty, terrible creatures who don't deserve to live. Not even a little bit.
  • Thor: Cool! I'm gonna kill them all when I grow up to be king!
  • Loki: Me too!
  • Odin: You guys rock. By the way, I'm not going to tell you flat-out that Thor gets the throne - let's just say you were both born to be kings. Yes. Seems best.
  • - LATER ON -
  • Loki: Jesus Christ, Thor is just fucking shit up left right and center.
  • Thor: LOOOOL HAMMER WAR THUMP WEE!
  • Loki: Good thing we're equals, and all. Both born kings, and all. BOTH ASGARDIANS, AND ALL.
  • Friends of Thor: Shut up, Loki, you're just jealous and want Thor's throne.
  • Loki: ...I kind of never said that.
  • Loki: By the way, can anyone tell me why I'm blue?
  • - SO AFTER THOR GETS SENT TO EARTH -
  • Odin: Son, you're adopted.
  • Loki: WHAT.
  • Odin: Also you're a frost giant.
  • Loki: WHAT.
  • Odin: Of course, I may have raised you to hate frost giants...
  • Loki: WHY DID YOU KIDNAP ME AND PRETEND I WASN'T A DIFFERENT SPECIES?
  • Odin: Um, political reasons.
  • Loki: SO WHEN YOU SAID WE'D BOTH BE KINGS...
  • Odin: I meant of a frosty, nasty planet you've only been to once while trying to attack your, um, cousins.
  • Loki:
  • Odin: Not that that'll ever happen, now that Thor's gone and fucked shit up.
  • Loki:
  • Odin: So you don't really have a use, now, and you're not even really Asgardian, so...
  • Loki:
  • Odin: Yeah. Probably should have told you sooner, eh?
  • Loki: YOU-
  • Odin: Odinsleep!
  • Loki: GODDAMMIT.
  • Loki: YOU'RE THE WORST DAD EVER, YOU KNOW THAT.
  • Loki: SHIT YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY DAD.
  • Loki: YOU PROBABLY KILLED MY DAD.
  • Loki: GOD.

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